Have I ever tell you on how much I love my late grandma? If I have not, do allow me to have this space to reminisce back about the moments late grandma had in this beautiful world that is given to us by ALLAH swt, our Almighty.

Sotiya Bte Abu, a mother of 7 children, a wife to late Ismail Bin Ahmad was born on 25^th of November 1864. In a big family of 7 people, with the praises of ALLAH swt, the family have grew bigger with the arrival of 16 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren. There is no other happiness except with the arrival of late grandma’s great grandchildren who she managed to shower her love towards every single one of them.

Late grandma, who we address as Mak, was a very fine lady. She was a lady who was down to earth, do not like to boast around and was very kind towards people around her. Looking at a side of her as a mother, she has always wanted her children to the best. They need not be the top of the world but be someone who is average who knows the meaning of respect. Praises to ALLAH swt, I am glad that Mak and late granddad who we address as, Yayi, succeeded in instilling the term respect to all of their children.

Next, looking in a perspective of her as a grandmother, all I could say was, she pampered all of her grandchildren with loves and goodies. One thing special about Mak was, all of her grandchildren do not let her go out by herself. Never once she went out by herself. It is not because we do not trust her, but we love her too much that we are afraid of unwanted things happen along the way. Lastly, looking in a perspective of her as a great grandmother, she loves her great-grandchildren as much as how she loves her grandchildren. In fact, she pampered them more than her grandchildren until the parents to Mak great-grandchildren will have difficulty scolding their child in front of Mak if they were to do something which is not right. I bet now then you all know how much love Mak has showered all of her family with.

Late grandma, fell ill in the year of 2009 right after the departure of her eldest daughter, Hasnah Bte Ismail. A lot of things at home change ever since then. At the early stage, Mak suffered from water retention. A couple of times, she was admitted in the hospital but praises to ALLAH swt, she fight strong to be as well as before. The water retention got worst with the unwell of her kidney and also weak heart, in June 2010; she was admitted in the hospital for a number of weeks under DIL case. During that moment only ALLAH swt knows how we felt looking at the pain that she went through. At times, we just leave everything to ALLAH swt and if taking her back to where she belong too, will ease her pain, we are willing too let her go. Every single one of us took long leave from work, to be at Mak’s side always. And, praises to ALLAH swt for granting us with understanding employers and colleagues who approved the long leave during Mak’s critical period.

I remembered, there was a day during Mak’s stay in the hospital, I went back to work. Later at around 10.30am, I received a call from my mother, crying saying that Mak had a fit and the doctor wants all us to be there. Can you imagine, how panicked were I? I could not control my tears but to break down over at my workplace. All calls came in asking if I can make my way to the hospital soon. At that moment, there were only 2 things in my mind. One, to keep on praying for grandma and two, to have the taxi driver sent me to the hospital safe and fast. As soon as I reached at the lobby, cousin was there crying same goes to my sister. We went up straight to the room and realized that they were putting a lot of tubes in grandma including the heart detector machine. I believe that none of us like that heart detector machine which detects the functioning of our heart beat. On that particular day, Mak had fit for nearly 4 times in a day. How heartbreaking is that. L

A few days later, Mak got a little better and though her state does not let her to be discharged from the hospital, she requested for it. Looking at her cries, it pains all of us and it requires all of her children to come to a point to take the responsibility of bringing late grandma home. As much as the doctor told us about the pros and cons of bringing her back home, we still made a decision to bring her back because Mak wants too. She loves to say that if anything were to happen to her, she wants it to be at home like how her beloved husband did. We could not defy her because I believe all of us know that when an elderly fell sick she will get moody very fast and that was how grandma was. And, praises to ALLAH swt, Mak got well though as times she do fall sick as she stays at home.

During the 6 months stay at home, Mak was doing well though there were times where grandma fell ill and had to be sent to the hospital but she refused too. We did not delay in fact we did send her to the family doctor so as to have a thorough check up. Praises to ALLAH swt, Mak agreed to it. By right, Mak has to use the oxygen tube but at the 5^th or 6th month stay at home, she did not used it as often as how she uses it before. She only uses it when she feels like it. See! How cute my Mak is. We can never be angry with her because she knows that we love her too much. No raising of voice at her and no staring at her. No! However, ever since Mak came back home, everyone of us make a point to come and visit her every weekend. No failure. Praises to ALLAH swt, I stayed just a block away from where Mak is staying so every weekend is definitely not a problem to my family and me.

Nearing December, we were overcome with a lot of test. Mak water retention got worse and her breathing was not normal. It pains us seeing her in that state but she was a one strong woman who do not let her children and grandchildren sees her in pain.1 weeks before 19^th of December that Mak passes away, we had a karaoke session and that was the last session that she sang together with us with the breathing tube in her nose. A lovely moment together, I swear. On 18^th of December, she requested to have “Lemak Pucuk Ubi” as her dinner but since cousin bought 5 kilo of “siput sedut” she said to her daughter to cook it the next day which was Sunday. That particular day, 18^th of December, Mak do not look like how she always is. She looked very shagged and her eyes were close most of the time. At about 10 pm, Mak complained that she is having difficulty in breathing, her heart is pain and this time round, she was the one who wants us to call the ambulance to bring her to the doctor. We called the ambulance; they came and brought grandma along.

As it was nearing to 12am, cousin and I decided to join the parents over at SGH hospital to accompany grandma. We have got ourselves prepared, ready and all we need it just to flag a cab and proceed to the destination BUT out of a sudden, all of us felt so tired and sleepy. I called my mum and aunt and they advised to just stay at home as grandma was pushed to the emergency ward and not much people can see. I agree so do the others and we slept over at cousin’s house (the house that grandma stay).

At 6am, I was awake by the loud hard knock on the bedroom door by cousin in law. Still vividly playing in my ear was this sentence,”Bangun! Mak dah tak ada… (Wake up! Mak is no longer around.). I swear that till the rest of my life, I regret for not going over to the hospital that night. As soon as I reached the hospital, I knew that she left us with one thing in mind, knowing that we will be fine without her around. On the bed, with the beautiful smile of hers, we arranged for her body to be brought back home. Praises to ALLAH SWT, though I spent little time with her but I know she will be better there. Al Fateha…

“Mak, though I am not by your side on that night, I am glad that you left the world with your children by your side. I am glad that I did feed you and change your clothes the night before you left the house. You know Mak; you are my everything and will always be my everything. I miss you so much that at times kissing your picture is the only way for me to heal the pain that I am hiding. It’s been a year Mak. Time flies and I do dream of you. Mak, I want you to know that till the end of time, I will carry our family name well. And dear ALLAH swt, I hope that when my time comes, you will place me together with my grandma.”

Al Fateha.

Hajah Sotiya Bte Abu

19^th December 2010.